The Media, Womenkind’s Walk of Shame
The media shames women for how they look.
This is especially true of older women.
And we react. As our looks start to change, we take one of two approaches. We fight it with the ever-increasing menu of cosmetic interventions available to us, or we let ‘er rip, wrinkles, sags, and spots notwithstanding.
Or, of course, something in between.
And we’re free to decide these things for ourselves.
But any path garners women a chorus of shame as she ages. If she ages gracefully, the media zooms in on her crow’s feet. If she attempts to stave it off, and they belittle her for not aging gracefully.
Actor Julia Roberts’ picture of her makeup-free 50-year-old self playing cards with her niece Emma went viral, garnering millions of comments such as “She’s not aging well,” that she looked “terrible,” and “like a man.” Referring to her 1990 blockbuster film, one commenter said, “She’s no longer a Pretty Woman.”
Michael Dell of computer fame’s wife Susan made the rounds this past week with speculations of having work done and now sporting a “Mar-a-Lago face.” To his credit, her husband said the philanthropist and ironman triathlete was “more beautiful than ever.”
This tendency to scrutinize our bodies and faces stems from the assumption that women exist to please the male gaze, an assumption that has been well-described in feminist literature as misogynistic, chauvinistic, and wrong.
I personally hate this aspect of our world. Why do female actors’ box office earnings descend after 35, while male actors’ continue to ascend? Why is he distinguished, while she’s aging? Why is he a silver fox and she’s an old, gray mare?
For a fascinating read, check out this research that shows how gender and age impact professional impression. Spoiler: Women’s power is her likeability, which tapers with age, while men’s powers are competence and influence, which increase with age. (https://blog.photofeeler.com/gender-bias-study/)
For God, Beauty Serves a Higher Purpose
But before we get too huffy about the lure of female beauty, we should realize that God semi-caused the obsession, simply by making young women so . . . beautiful. Like a great symphony raises the bar on our musical tastes, the treasure of female resplendence lifts the bar of our esthetic sensibilities. Spying a young Angelina Jolie, do we not marvel at the artistry of the Divine Master?
In God’s plan, this is functional. Female beauty serves to ensure the propagation of the race. Science has shown that males are attracted to features of female youth—full lips, bright eyes, lush hair, and a slender but curvaceous form, and that younger women are more fertile, meaning that male mating instincts respond to signals of fertility.
Voila! Babies.
In God’s plan, this attraction does more than propagate the race. God channels the raw energy of sex drive into marital bonding. This mysterious attachment process, if Spirit-saturated, makes a man’s wife his lifelong standard of beauty. For a faithful man, no one compares to his Eve. And even as she ages, it’s as if he doesn’t notice. He projects onto her the image of her ideal, youthful self, with whom he continues to be besotted for the rest of his life. As a Christian, I’ve seen and experienced this. I love old couples who, though objectively wrinkled and knotted, still subjectively find each other swoonworthy.
I used to rail against the male fascination with female beauty, but now I accept the creational basis of it. Underneath the idolatry lies a precious gift, beautiful in its time.
Beauty of Character
Physical beauty, which in this fallen world fades quickly, can be seen as a metaphor for beauty of character. This beauty grows throughout life. In 2 Corinthians 4:16, Paul speaks of this as the “inward man,”
Therefore, we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day.
This tells me that even while age is robbing me of my youthful looks, it gives me opportunity to continue to grow in spiritual beauty until my withered form keels over.
I have loved my public life as a counselor and speaker, simply because I’m valued for my mind and heart versus my appearance. Early on I placed myself, or should I say God placed me, in an “industry” that emphasizes spiritual beauty more than physical beauty. I have aged into my career while actors and models of my generation have aged out. I admit to feeling self-conscious at times as I create posts on Instagram, the “digital catwalk.” I have a wee bit of body dysmorphia—don’t all women?* But I’m grateful for the promise that “Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised” (Proverbs 31:30).
I encourage young people to choose a life path that avoids the vanity fair, leading instead to the kingdom of God. When the beauty queens and influencers of modern media accept large payoffs for monetizing their looks, they choose a path that inevitably ends in public shame. I’d love to stop the wagging tongues, but the world is vapid, shallow, idolatrous, and sold out to lust. No amount of railing on its obsession with youth and beauty will move the needle.
But when we set our affections on things above, we can accept the reality that youth and beauty serve their purpose, and that beauty of character serves an even bigger purpose. God redeems physical youth and beauty from the clutches of a shallow culture even while He exalts beauty of character as dazzling beyond anything on earth.
For a little fun, watch this dove commercial highlighting female body dysmorphia https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rymT28Z6KQY then this parody depicting the opposite in males (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qleaJe35U0)
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