Winning Back the Brainwashed: Fighting Online Radicalization with Weapons of Love

Last week 31-year-old teacher Cole Tomas Allen of Torrance, California, took a train from Los Angeles to Washington, DC, checked into the Hilton hotel, sent a manifesto email to family members, armed himself with a shotgun, a handgun, and multiple knives, proceeded to the White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner, and charged a security checkpoint, exchanging gunfire with law enforcement before he was tackled and taken into custody.

Here’s part of Allen’s manifesto: “I am no longer willing to permit a pedophile, rapist, and traitor to coat my hands with his crimes. . . I experience rage thinking about everything this administration has done.”

No doubt Allen had found abundant online support for his expressions. They’re everywhere. But most would never consider resorting to violence. What led this would-be assassin to that decision? The National Institutes of Justice identifies four stages of political violence:

In the pre-radicalization stage, the person adopts a grievance narrative against an agent or agents they consider to be in the wrong.

The detachment stage involves self-identification with the radical subculture and a pulling away from other relationships.

In the peer immersion stage, the person passes through indoctrination by members of the subculture, who justify and encourage violence.

In the planning and execution stage, the person prepares and even attempts or commits violence.

In other words, the creation of a political terrorist follows a sequence like this: People get hurt, withdraw, find other hurt people, get brainwashed, and then kill. This sequalae of reactions to real-world pain transcends political ideologies. It happens across the gamut. And haven’t we all seen perhaps milder forms of it in people we know? In ourselves?

Responding Effectively

Very few of us will encounter radicalization as extreme as Cole Allen. But the internet has introduced us to a plethora of softer forms. This soft radicalization follows a predictable pattern: A person suffers hurt. Searching for answers online, they find communities of people with the same pain point. They join these aggrieved subcultures. Narratives are shared, souls commiserate, and the “other side” becomes evil. Opponents stop dialoging, silos rise, and echo chambers reverberate. I have watched friends and loved ones become unnecessarily estranged. I have at times been the “bad guy” because of some belief I hold. It’s wild out there on the world wide web.

How do we respond effectively in such circumstances? How can we increase the chances the indoctrinated will return to sanity and our embrace? Of course there is no guarantee of success, but we can do our part to make it possible. Here are some steps I’ve seen work.

I hope you find this useful.

Listen

Provided they’ll speak to you, now is a great time to polish your listening skills. When they share a message, say it back to them in your own words. If they’re relating a complex narrative, pause them occasionally to summarize. As they soliloquize about their grievance, you may be tempted to correct them, labor with them, or even shame them. Don’t. They may vomit out a bunch of nonsense. Brace yourself, remembering this key truth: You can understand without agreeing. If your effort at restoration succeeds, they just might correct themselves.

Ask

Sprinkle questions into the mix, making sure they come from a motive of loving curiosity. Typically, such questions will begin with “what” or “how.” “Why” can come across as an accusation. Let me demonstrate: “Why did you give those people so much money?” comes off as judgmental, but “What led you to give those people so much money?” has a better chance of falling softly on the ear.

Adopting curiosity toward a deceived person is one of most difficult things you’ll ever do, so brace yourself. Remember God asked questions like, “Adam, where are you?” and “Where is your brother Abel?” for the purpose of hearing from his children what He already knew and dreaded.

Find

In the stormy waves of false beliefs you’ll find driftwood pieces of pain. Keep listening and asking, and chances are, true grief will surface. Pull it out of the water, brush it off, and ask the person about it.

Try to identify unmet needs. God came to the terrified Elijah, not with a rebuke for his cowardice, but food for his hunger (1 Kings 17:2-16). He asked the man at the pool of Bethsaida, “Do you want to get well?” and learned of the abuse he’d suffered for 38 years (John 5:1-9). He fed the 5000 before attempting to preach to them (Matthew 14:13-21). We follow the Master need-finder.

Pray

I’ll call her JJ. At 18 years old, she joined a conservative group bordering on a cult. Because they didn’t align with the beliefs of the group, her family became the enemy against whom she built high walls of defense. The dietary restrictions of the group led to severe weight loss, leading JJ’s mother to send her to psychiatrists. She only argued with them. At long last all her worried parents could do was pray. And they did.

And eventually, through hard lessons and a near-death bout with illness brought on by her depleted condition, JJ turned back toward those who’d cared for her, however imperfectly. She recovered from the cult, the eating disorder, and her fanatical frame of mind, rejoining the family she’d seen as the enemy.

You guessed it, JJ was me. I have felt the power of prayer on my own wayward soul. I have felt it break the spell of a dangerous delusion. People say, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing, expecting different results.” That’s true for everything except prayer. Jesus told us to “pray and not lose heart” (Luke 18:1). Keep praying, even if it looks like it’s not working. What else can we do? Where else can we go but to the feet of the God who loves them more than we do?

Hey, you know I love it when you comment. Make my day! Share with me your own experience with online groups. Did they help? Did they become unhelpful? And your experience with cults or cult mentality. I would love your thoughts.