John MacArthur, Rest in Peace

Conservative Evangelical Pastor John MacArthur died July 14 at the age of 86, leaving behind a large legacy. As pastor of Grace Community Church in Los Angeles, he preached from its pulpit up to five times a week for most of 56 years. Known for an expository approach, many lauded him as faithful to Scripture in the midst of compromise. Truthfully, I agreed with him on many points.

But his views of submission of women, no. They were extreme. Here’s a direct quote: “A woman, whether she is married or single, must recognize the fact that in general, as a woman, she must have a spirit of submission to all men.”*

This view opens the floodgates to abuse. If ALL women submit to ALL men, then women submit to men on the basis of their maleness. How is that a safe proposal? The only biblical submission of one human to another occurs when a deep investment has been made. If a husband sacrifices for his wife, it is reasonable and safe for her to submit to (trust) him. Some dude on the street? No.

Unsurprisingly, some women under MacArthur’s pastoral leadership ended up in harm’s way. This blog by Kaeley Triller Harms summarizes the events. Essentially, multiple women under his leadership were told to go home and submit to their abusive husbands. Unfortunately, the failure of pastors to validate abuse reports, intervene appropriately, and hold the abuser, rather than the abused accountable is not unheard of in marriage-valuing, conservative churches. I wish it wasn’t so, because I’m marriage-valuing and conservative. But I must be honest about the failures of a movement with which I agree on some points.

Marriage is a beautiful covenant, designed by a God in His own covenant relationship with us. In the Try This at Home: Marriage workshop, David Asscherick identifies three kinds of marriage—controlling (bad), contractual (better), and covenantal (best). A covenantal marriage says, “I will love you at any cost to myself.” Marriage gives selfish humans an opportunity to give sacrificially, countering our innate narcissism in ways that mature and deepen us in Christ. The flame of Yahweh burns at the heart of a covenantal marriage, making it a holy place where love flourishes in place of selfishness. This, through the blending of male and female, reveals God’s character to the world in unique and powerful ways. A godly marriage is evangelism.

And because of this, Satan hates it, such that every chance he gets, he attempts to turn the holy covenant into a hellish captivity. Pastors with their wits about them will be able to spot these satanic twistings, admit that the temple has been defaced, and help deliver the captive rather than send her home for more abuse. Is that too much to ask?

One practical suggestion in closing. For the abused but divorce-hesitant, consider a structured separation. Some will tell you to just divorce the jerk. And certainly, if legitimate, perpetrator-patterned abuse is occurring, that’s an option. But if children, poverty, apparent repentance, health problems, sunk cost, or other complicating factors make that difficult, a structured separation may be just what you need. I’ve seen this approach save a marriage, and I’ve seen it help an abuse victim end a marriage. I’m happy to share a document explaining this process to you. Go to Abide.Network and fill out the contact form.

Above all, may God always be your refuge and strength, a very present help in a time of trouble. And may we Jesus-following, Bible-loving Christians get this marriage, abuse, and divorce thing right.

*https://www.gty.org/sermons/1844/the-subordination-and-equality-of-women