Sad and Thankful

Gratitude in the midst of sorrow rewires our brains, helping us heal and find hope even in the hardest moments.

I remember the last year of my Master’s studies. To get the required practice hours, I worked for free at a local counseling center. Our finances had been drained by the schooling, and each day was a struggle. Then, driving home one night, the car gave out.

As I pulled over, I collapsed into despair, wondering how I’d even afford the tow. Suddenly, it occurred to me that I had two choices—be sad facing the problem or be happy facing the problem. Either way, I’d have to face the problem.

I decided to cheer up a bit. I called the towing company, then climbed to the roof of the car. As the sky grew dark, I sang my favorite songs, recounting God’s blessings. Did passersby think me crazy? I didn’t care. When the tow truck arrived, I jumped into the passenger seat and chatted up the driver as if we were old friends. I don’t remember anything else, just that I got through the rough patch, graduated, and got a paying job.

Science has long demonstrated the benefits of gratitude. And we do well to be grateful all the time. But gratitude in the midst of difficulty seems to deliver extra perks.

Take grief for example. The last thing we think of when we’ve lost something or someone is our blessings. But gratitude in grief has a unique and special benefit. Here’s how counselor Malachy Dunne describes it:

By practicing it while grieving, we begin to rewire the neurons in our brain and move away from anxious and depressive thoughts, which sets up a virtuous circle where adrenaline and cortisol go down, and helpful hormones like endorphin, serotonin, and dopamine go up.1

By sitting with grief, then finding a way out of it to gratitude, we build brain pathways that make the journey easier the next time. Humans, made in the image of an emotionally complex God, can similarly hold many emotions at once. So, go ahead and cry, but throw in a little gratitude and see what happens.

1. https://www.the-independent.com/life-style/health-and-families/elton-john-animals-aberdeen-b2170109.html